Your first message is doing heavy lifting. It needs to signal that you read their profile, that you're interesting, and that you're not going to be exhausting — all in a few sentences. Most people fail this challenge spectacularly.
The single most common first message across all dating platforms is a variation of 'hey' or 'how are you'. Analysis of response rates shows these perform 85% worse than messages that reference something specific from the other person's profile.
The formula that consistently outperforms everything else is simple: one specific observation + one genuine question. Not a compliment about looks. Not a bio summary. A real observation that proves you were paying attention.
For example: 'I noticed you mentioned hiking in the Dolomites — I've been trying to plan a trip there for two years but keep chickening out on the solo part. Did you go with people or on your own?' That message does four things: it's specific, it's personal, it shows curiosity about them, and it reveals something honest about you.
On LoverFinder, you have a head start: you can see your compatibility score and the personality dimensions that align between you. Use that. Mentioning a shared value or trait ('I noticed we both scored high on openness — I was curious what that looks like for you day-to-day') is a powerful conversation starter that feels thoughtful, not generic.
Write like a person, not a pitch. The goal of the first message isn't to impress — it's to open a door.
Prêt(e) à trouver votre personne ?
LoveFinder vous met en relation selon votre personnalité, vos valeurs et ce qui compte vraiment — pas seulement une photo. Cela prend 2 minutes pour commencer.